Introduction:
As I contemplate the inevitable Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (with special guest cameo Wonder Woman), I think to myself – uuuuuuuughhhhhhh. Dawn nothing. At least as far as the comics go, I see nothing but bleak and eternal darkness…
Tag: snark
Storytelling Failures – Man of Steel
It’s probably obvious from my fifteen-minute version of Man of Steel that I didn’t care for it very much. If that wasn’t enough, I railed against it in another entry. But aside from the fact I don’t think it was much of a Superman movie, I think it failed to craft a good story.
A Media Entry – A Salute to Snark
I was lamenting my lack of doing research and pondering that such a mistake could be the origin of a superhero called Captain Otaku, who searched the world literally righting wrongs. And then I realized there are plenty of Captain Otaku expies out there, and I for one am grateful to them. I am so grateful I’ll even share links to their work. “But wait, S.J.,” I hear the voices in my head saying to me, “if all you’re going to do is post links and pithy descriptions, isn’t this like the blog equivalent of a lame ’80s sitcom clip show?” To which I reply, “What the hell is that?”
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So, yes, I am glad there are people out there who have so much time available to them and more importantly enthusiasm for their chosen obsession, that they post their snark out on the internet for me to enjoy. In addition to Captain Otaku, there is a whole Legion of Snark Knights. There’s Fanboy, whose power to go into a nerd rage keeps all those who witness amused (albeit at a safe distance). There’s Wiki-Wonderkind, who doesn’t know everything yet, but has made it her mission to fix those wiki articles she knows are wrong. And of course, the Deadpan Snarker, who must make fun of all things whether there’s a chance the person in the wrong will learn otherwise.
Movies:
RiffTrax – I love these guys. I saw a broadcast of them riffing Birdemic live. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen, although to be fair they had some seriously ridiculous (and no that is not an oxymoron) source material to work with.
HowItShouldHaveEnded – how movies should have ended, and sometimes video games, and there’s a long-running gag between Batman and Superman which is pretty funny. Usually predicated on finding a giant, gaping plothole in the movie, which, if exploited, could have wrapped everything up in about 20 minutes.
Honest Trailers – movies cut to trailer-length with commentary. If you want to know what a movie is actually about, this pretty much sums it up. Also, I admire a group so dedicated to their craft they actually got people to sing the trailer to Les Miserables.
CinemaSins – an accounting of those nagging plotholes in movies; some gaping, some just the result of poor editing, and mostly just funny.
Comic Books:
ItsJustSomeRandomGuy – this is a guy that clearly loves comic books and both universes. His characterizations of the beloved superheroes is absolutely spot on. The “I’m a Marvel/I’m a DC” and movie parodies are short, and the “Happy/After/Zero Hour” form a coherent plot of his world.
Linkara – he is a man! Who rips into bad comic books, and has his own storyline in his videos because why the heck not. He’s a DC guy, but a bad comic is a bad comic so he’ll take on Marvel as well. His review of “Ultimates 3” made me laugh and want to punch the “creative team” in the face.
Randomness:
TvTropes – it will ruin your life and waste your time. I can’t recommend it highly enough.
The Comics Curmudgeon – it turns out print isn’t completely dead and neither are comic strips. Amazing Spider-man is seriously lame, but hey, at least he’s married. Soap opera strips are ridiculous, undead strips lurch along years past their creators passing, and nothing, nothing, is more depressing than a pizza at Montoni’s.
Seriously, I am grateful there are people out here who can do this. I’m so grateful I even sit through the ads so these people can garner a few cents from the advertisers for what is certainly many hours of work. These are the sorts of people that made sure Duck Dodgers has an entry on the DC Wiki for Green Lantern. I admire that kind of labor of love. I certainly have no time, or patience, or boundless creativity to devote to becoming Captain Otaku. And should I wish to dedicate myself so, I would probably find someone has taken my schtick already. No, I am no Captain Otaku. At best, I’m a Rick Jones or Jimmy Olsen, the eager kid sidekick who longs to be like those mighty Snark Knights but will never achieve such heights (unlike Rick Jones and Jimmy Olsen who did get superpowers every now and again [hell, I think Rick’s still got some]). So, to all those who are much more awesome than I am, thank you!
A TV/Comic Book Entry – Thoughts on Villainy 2: Henchmen
I think about comic book style villainy, especially cartoony comic book style villainy (which is why this is a cross-media entry). I think a lot about these things, which probably says a lot about me, although I’m not sure it’s all good… So awhile back my feverish writer’s brain was wondering how in the world evil organizations manage to recruit any new members. After re-watching the G.I. Joe episode “The Revenge of Cobra” I wondered who is responsible for training these new members? Well, here’s my theory…
Big Bad: Okay, who are you and what can do you for me?
Consultant: I represent Henchman Training Systems, Inc., and I’m going to give you my best pitch as to why you should hire HTS to train your henchman.
Big Bad: I’m listening.
Consultant: Here at HTS we understand that as a Big Bad, you and your lieutenants have better things to do than train some low-level henchmen who are likely going to end in dead or jail the first time you send them on a mission. But we also understand you need complete loyalty and sufficient training that your henchmen present a credible threat, or at least diversion, for any heroes that attempt to interrupt your operations.
Big Bad: I agree.
Consultant: HTS has a secret headquarters where we can train all your low-level henchmen, with optional teleport pad for easy transport. Our state of the art headquarters has state of the art equipment for training your henchmen. Plus, we have psychiatrists and nutritionists on-staff to help manipulate your henchmen mind and body.
Big Bad: I like where this is going.
Consultant: Here at HTS, we can tailor the training regiment to suit your needs. Here’s an example training day –
0530 – Wake up
0545-0700 – Physical fitness
0700-0745 – Breakfast
0800-0930 – Training Class
0930-1030 – Physical fitness
1030-1145 – Training Class
1200-1245 – Lunch
1300-1430 – Training Class
1430-1530 – Organization Morale Boosting Session
1530-1730 – Training Class
1730-1815 – Dinner
1830-2100 – Approved Recreational Activities
2100 – Lights Out
Big Bad: “Organization Morale Boosting Session?”
Consultant: Brainwashing and propaganda. Like the card says, “We take over where recruiting leaves off.”
Big Bad: Nice catchphrase. I notice there’s a lot of emphasis on physical fitness. Does this include actual combat training?
Consultant: Well, we could include actual combat and weapons training if you want, but that’s in our upgraded packages. Our basic package assumes henchmen will be captured and/or killed in their first mission, so why bother to train them when you really won’t get your money’s worth from them?
Big Bad: That’s an excellent point. So what is the purpose of the physical fitness sessions?
Consultant: Mostly just to keep them busy and keep morale up. They think they’re really learning something. And many organizations like the one you head up tend to employ scientists and medical professionals of, let’s say, ambiguous morality, like to use humans in their studies, and favor healthy specimens over unhealthy ones.
Big Bad: Oh, yes, Dr. Brainmelter is always asking for subjects, I mean, volunteers for his experiments.
Consultant: How often are henchmen expected to volunteer?
Big Bad: Usually just once does it.
Consultant: Ah, well, there are several modules for purchase for the “Organization Morale Boosting Session” and I suggest you seriously consider the module, “Scientific Progress and How You can Help.”
Big Bad: Sounds like something to consider. I assume you have a brochure?
Consultant: Absolutely. I also have several sample menus with varying chemical supplements for you to review. We want to make sure your henchmen are as strong, or as weak, as you need them to be. We are also willing to alter our menus based on the suggestions of your morally ambiguous medical professionals.
Big Bad: Excellent.
Consultant: Training classes cover the usual henchmen training; marching in formation, yelling your battle cry, defending the lieutenants…
Big Bad: I’m sorry, “yelling your battle cry?”
Consultant: Oh yes, standard procedures for most organizations. The henchmen yell the battle cry before engaging in combat with the heroes. Generally this battle cry is the name of the organization. You know, “Cooooobraaaa!” or “Hail HYYYYYYDRAAAA!”
Big Bad: But wouldn’t it make more sense to just open fire rather than warning the heroes you’re about to fire on them?
Consultant: Well, yes, of course, for trusted lieutenants. But for henchmen, the purpose of the battle cry is to trigger the psychological conditioning of the training to override all their fear and common sense and charge into battle with little to no actual combat training to engage a clearly tactically superior group of heroes. The heroes take out the henchmen, and your trusted lieutenants carry on the important part of your plan.
Big Bad: That’s surprisingly logical. But what happens if some of these henchman actually get promoted to trusted lieutenant status?
Consultant: HTS offers an advanced training course to break the psychological conditioning if you need it immediately. The conditioning will break down if it’s not constantly reinforced, so your lieutenant will eventually stop yelling the battle cry. We understand that’s a slight downside to our very effective training, but the odds are against any one henchman achieving that level of advancement, which we think outweighs any potential undesirable side-effects.
Big Bad: You make a compelling argument.
Consultant: Thank you. And of course, there are numerous training modules to choose from. As I said, we can actually train your henchmen to use weapons. We can also train them in numerous other skills, such as operating your arsenal of vehicular weapons. Of course, we do need some specifications to tailor the module, but we only need the very basics and understand much of your weaponry is proprietary.
Big Bad: So what’s the minimum you need?
Consultant: On, off, forward, backwards, side-to-side, aim, fire, stop. And if this is an airborne vehicle, take-off and land. Safety features only if you feel so inclined to provide that information, assuming safety features are even available.
Big Bad: Well, you know, tough economic times and all. Even my best engineers have been asked to conserve funds wherever possible.
Consultant: Very thrifty indeed. We will also manufacture uniforms for your henchmen. I have this handy catalogue of colors and logos. We have four styles available – basic, police-grade armor, military-grade armor, and illusion armor.
Big Bad: What’s illusion armor?
Consultant: We make the uniform look like there’s armor, which increases morale without actually charging you the premium of real armor.
Big Bad: Illusion armor it is.
Consultant: It is our most popular style. So, if you’re satisfied that HTS, Inc. can provide for all your henchmen training needs, shall I bring out the contract to commence with the custom evaluation? After all, we don’t want to lock you into a price that won’t bring you the results you need.
Big Bad: And I’m under no obligation to pay HTS if your custom program does not suit my needs?
Consultant: You have to pay us for the evaluation, but you are under no obligation to proceed with the training regiment. Attempting to cheat persons of your reputation and ability through legal loopholes is simply poor business sense.
Big Bad: Am I assured this won’t be later used as evidence against me in a court of law?
Consultant: Absolutely! Here is a copy of the confidentiality clause. And again, attempting to blackmail persons of your reputation and ability is simply poor business sense.
Big Bad: I’ll have my lawyers look over this and I’ll get back to you. But right now, HTS is leading the pack.
Consultant: Thank you! Please keep our promotional materials and here’s my card. Remember, HTS works for you!
A TV/Movie Entry: Robot Roll Call!
This is my first hybrid entry because it concerns both television and movies. The title of course references the sorely missed low-budget product of Canadian television, “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” Luckily, the heir of MST3K lives in on the internet as RiffTrax.
MST3K introduced me to the concept that objectively terrible movies can still be enjoyed through the strategic use of snarkage and sarcasm. That idea had never occured to me and yet when I watched my first episode, once I figured out what the heck was going on, it was like a light bulb went off over my head. Once I saw the snark value in bad movies, I began to see all sorts of possibilities for snark for even good movies, or television, or books, or life in general.
For those of you who have never seen this, many episodes are available on YouTube. My favorites include, “Devilfish,” “Pumaman,” “Werewolf,” and the classic, “Manos: the Hands of Fate.” The premise of the show is summed up with the theme song but basically an evil scientist uses a poor schmuck as an experiment to determine the effects of watching terrible movies. The schmuck has four robots to keep him company, two of which always watch the movie with him. They generally watch old B-movies, generally science fiction and/or horror, and make fun of them. During the breaks there were some skits and songs many of which were pretty funny despite the low budget (so low budget it’s obvious Gypsy’s “eye” is just a large flashlight). Part of the reason for using these bad bad movies is because they were really really bad, but also because the producers probably didn’t have to pay to use them.
Alas, nothing lasts forever, even low-budget Canadian television, so the show ended its run. However, the writers managed to make the jump to the internet where they run a site called RiffTrax, in which they record soundtracks to play with movies. This time they actually get to riff on popular movies. You can tell I’ve taken this to heart given all my Fifteen-minute Movies postings. RiffTrax is the only thing that made the first three “Twilight” movies bearable. I will re-iterate, however, that even RiffTrax is not enough to get me to watch the other two. I am glad those guys have managed to turn snarking at bad movies into a career. That’s one of those dream careers, like playing video games for a living. It’s also a career I didn’t really knew existed, so extra props to them for defining it.
By the way, if you ever get a chance to see a live performance of RiffTrax, or watch a movie where they are broadcasting a live show, go see it. I recently saw their screening of Birdemic and it was fantastic (also probably available on YouTube). Also, the movie itself is almost as bad as Manos: the Hands of Fate but has worse special effects and more exploding birds. Of course, it’s weird for me to see the voices of Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo coming from ordinary guys.
In short, any media can be MST3K or RiffTrax if you have enough people who also enjoy snarking at objectively terrible media. As the theme song says, “If you’re wondering how he eats and breathes and other science facts/repeat to yourself it’s just a show; you should really just relax.”
A Movie Entry – Raiders of the Lost Snark
But first, a brief moment of self-promotion. If you like my blog, please go to my Facebook page and Like me there too. My goal is to convince Facebook I am in fact a real person. Thus far it is unconvinced, which leaves me in something of an existential crisis of identity.
“Pulp magazines” were cheap magazines full of fantastic stories printed from 1896 through the 1950s. The stories were highly sensationalized and usually featured some half-dressed woman on the cover requiring rescuing. The Shadow and Flash Gordon are examples of pulp super-heroes (and, it could be argued, Batman), and although he appears in comic strip form, I think the Phantom also qualifies. And, in no coincidence, they’ve also had movies made about them. However, when I think of pulp-style movies, I think of a fedora wearing, whip-carrying archeologist – Indiana Jones.
Interestingly, but not surprisingly, having run over budget on their previous two movies, Spielberg and Lucas were having trouble finding backers for their adventure archeologist movie. With such a winning concept, I can’t imagine why… Finally Paramount agreed, but put in the contract that if the budget went over, they were on the hook for the rest of the cash. Harrison Ford wasn’t even the first choice, but the first choice was locked in a television contract. Then the first and second choice actresses didn’t work out. And finally, while filming in the desert (Tunisia, I think), half the cast and crew came down with terrible water-bourne diseases (the value of proper water and wastewater treatment should not be underrated). But it was a huge success and spawned a franchise. This, however, is where things started to go downhill.
Raiders of the Lost Ark is, to me, the gold standard of pulpy action/adventure movies. I hold all movies like it (The Mummy remake, The Shadow, The Phantom, and yes even National Treasure, etc.) up to this movie as the bar to meet or exceed. It has action, it has adventure, it has Harrison Ford being, well, a bad-ass. Even when he is scared of the snakes, he’s still a bad-ass. It has bad guys everyone can hate (Nazis) and a damsel who while often in distress does her darnedest to get out of distress by herself and is a great foil for Indiana Jones. Marian and Indy had great chemistry. It has interesting secondary characters. It has witty dialogue and a compelling story that doesn’t actually seem too far-fetched (for all that they are searching for the Ark of the Covenant). Despite the terrible real life circumstances of filming, everything in that movie just came together. Even one of the days Harrison Ford was so dreadfully ill he couldn’t physically perform the scripted stunt produced one of the most memorable scenes in the movie and definitive proof of the addage, “Never bring a knife to a gun fight.”
By movie law, any successful movie will spawn a sequel. In this case, a prequel, but it doesn’t matter. Whereas “Raiders” did everything right, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom managed to do nearly everything wrong. Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh, although like many sequels/prequels the production decided to go with Darker and Edgier, and I don’t think that fit in with the first one’s tone at all. Even if Darker and Edgier is your thing, there were still two huge problems with the movie – the damsel in distress and the precocious child sidekick. I don’t know why so many sequels (prequel, whatever) seem to feature a precocious child sidekick. The plot usually doesn’t provide any reason why the child is there in the first place, or why the heroes don’t try to get the child to safety as soon as possible. Indy just sort of picks Short Round up like a stray dog. Oh, and this precocious child is also in no way an offensive racial stereotype (I hope the sarcasm is apparent). And Indy’s in no way an ugly American for just picking up this kid and not asking any questions about who his proper guardians might be. Reportedly, Spielberg wanted Willie Scott to be a complete contrast to Marian Ravenwood. Congratulations, Steven, you got it. Of course, it turns out a complete contrast to Marian Ravenwood is a ditzy blonde that did not seem to shut up the entire movie! I swear every other word out of her mouth was “AAAAHHH!!!” I was not rooting for Indy to rescue her. Also, the mine ride scene. Wait, it wasn’t supposed to be a rollercoaster? Could have fooled me.
Well, Spielberg reportedly didn’t like “Temple of Doom” much and the third movie was an effort to get back to the original’s awesomeness. I think Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade almost made it. I really liked the flashback scene to a teenaged Indy who it turns out was also pretty bad-ass for a kid. There were more comic elements than in the first movie, and the plot wasn’t really about finding the Grail, but more about Indy’s coming to terms with the estranged relationship he has with his father. This, to me, makes the Grail a very appropriate quest object, since in a lot of literature about those who sought the Grail, the Grail wasn’t really the end goal. The quest for the Grail was an effort for those seeking it to prove their own purity of spirit or of faith. Sure, the Nazis were the bad guys again, but the use of them as villains was historically appropriate and this installment included the femme fatale character who managed to be different from Marian and Willie in good ways. She was a different kind of foil for Indy in that she was a scholar, just like him. I like that she was visibly upset by the Nazi book-burning and yet continued to work with them because of her own desire for the Grail. I.e., she wasn’t a flat character. Indy’s father also showed that just because he’s more academic and scholarly than his son doesn’t mean he’s any less of a bad-ass. It is my second favorite in the series.
So, for all that Spielberg didn’t like “Temple of Doom,” that didn’t stop him from helping make Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. This movie actually had a lot of good elements. It showed that even an aged Indy is still a bad-ass. It brought back Marian Ravenwood, as spunky as ever. The idea of introducing Indy and Marian’s son was a good one, although I question the execution. I don’t object to him being a greaser, since that was the dangerous bad boy of the times. But having seen a young Indy as a total bad-ass in the previous movie, Mutt was somewhat disappointing, to say the least. He was too comic-relief-y and not bad-ass enough (two words – nut shot). The scene in the refrigerator was not actually the worst part of the movie, but it does sort of explain why the movie didn’t work. It was just too over the top. I don’t know why movies where Indy went looking for real artifacts worked so much better than movies where he went looking for fake artifacts. I also didn’t think there was enough detective work in this one. Indy found the skull with what seemed to me very little effort. I would rate it as better than “Temple” but not as good as the other two.
So there it is – the rise and fall of a great movie franchise. All other pulp action-adventure style movies are held to the standard of “Raiders” and don’t want to fall to the level of “Temple” (I rate the aforementioned National Treasure as somewhat better than “Crystal Skull” but not as good as “Crusade”) Also, Fifteen-minute movie versions of these movies are forthcoming.
A Comic Book Entry – My Love/Hate Relationship With Wolverine
But first, some shameless self-promotion! I have many likes on this blog and that makes me happy. But I also have a Facebook page (the address is under the “links” tab) and I have only four likes and that makes me quite sad. So if you like my blog, please go like my Facebook page as well. Also, there is a coupon for my novel good through June 22 so you can get it absolutely positively totally completely free.
Right, on to the ranting!
Wolverine is the little mutant that could. When introduced by Chris Claremont in 1975, the X-men team had a small problem. It was ethnically diverse, but powerwise less diverse. So it came down to the death of an X-man and it was between Warpath and Wolverine. Well, one of the people involved was partial to Canadians and it was deemed too many characters already had super-strength and speed, and at that point none had a healing factor and wicked claws, so Warpath had to go. Wolverine was this close to getting the axe but survived past the second issue to define the term “bad-ass” in the Marvel lexicon. Many decades later, a popular internet blogger said something to the effect of, “I stopped reading X-men when Wolverine started appearing on the covers of comics he technically wasn’t in.”
To say that Wolverine became enormously popular is an understatement. I’m not even going to pretend I know the whole history of the comics that came out featuring or starring Wolverine. I’m not a Wolverine expert. Wolverine’s main character trait appears to be that he’s a bad-ass with a sensitive side that is most often expressed in a tendency to practically adopt stray teenage girls as his daughter (this could also be read as creepy depending on your interpretation, especially considering how many of those girls end up with an Electra complex, and I’m not talking about Daredevil‘s on again-off again love interest). He’s been there, done that, met everyone, especially as his popularity grew and suddenly he was retconned into all sorts of places, particularly WWII. His time with the X-men was mostly as the Bad Boy foil to Cyclops’ Boy Scout. Remember, I’ve already said I don’t think that was a bad thing (see previous blog post “Cyclops is Not Wolverine, And That’s Not a Problem“). Wolverine has gotten much love in other media. The 90s X-men was fairly faithful to the comics in spirit and often in story. I think the voice actor was actually Canadian and I thought it worked very well. Hugh Jackman, while Australian, made a fabulous Wolverine, although the actual Wolverine movie was fairly lame. Later cartoons even put Wolverine’s name in the title and made him the head of the team, not Cyclops. Or if you look at the evolution of the “X-men” movie posters, he goes from background to foreground because he’s that darn popular. He’s on so many teams currently he quipped in the New Avengers that his mutant power is actually multi-tasking.
So why do I love Wolverine? For the same reasons pretty much everyone else does. He’s a bad-ass. He plays by his own rules, takes no prisoners, rebels against the man. He’s the Bad Boy and yet works for the side of righteousness. He has some sort of literal animal magnetism that attracts all the women in the immediate vicinity, and yet he’s not a complete dick as evidenced by his soft spot for semi-orphans. He also gets a pass on some of his more psychotic behavior because his mind was so screwed with during the Weapon X program. He’s uncouth and hard-living because his life has been hard. He has had so many girlfriends die on him, or turn into his enemies, he’s probably lost count (and probably doesn’t even remember them all). He goes on despite pain, because while he can heal, healing still hurts. He’s got a long and potentially interesting past writers can work with, which I’m sure on the writing level makes him very popular. He can hold his own with just about any opponent, and if not, he can take punishment like a champ. Gosh darn it, he’s scrappy. He may be the very definition of scrappy.
But why do I hate Wolverine? Because he almost takes the definition of scrappy to “Scrappy Doo.” Despite a long backstory, his character is not interesting enough to justify his ubiquitous presence in the Marvel universe. Also, one of the longest running stories in which he was involved in was to me one of the most over-dramatic and ridiculous ones. I refer, of course, to the love triangle with Jean Grey. Oh, I read the tradebacks. I understand, I suppose, why Jean would be interested in the Bad Boy. It’s practically narrative convention. What drove me bonkers was that so many writers had difficulty handling that relationship properly. I would have had Jean outright break up with Cyclops to date Wolverine outright and then realize that’s a terrible idea. You know, have the characters behave like mature adults about their relationship(s). Instead, readers were treated to years and years of what boils down to this:
Cyclops – I don’t like you because you’re a Bad Boy! And also because you’re hitting on my girlfriend!
Wolverine – I don’t like you because you’re a Boy Scout! And your girlfriend totally wants to date me!
Jean – Yes, I mean no! Of course not! I’m dating Cyclops!
Cyclops – You stay away from my girl!
Jean – Hey, you don’t own me! I can date whoever I want!
Cyclops – But we’re dating! Do you want to break up with me?
Jean – Of course not! But I could if I wanted.
Wolverine – You know you want me, babe.
Cyclops – I don’t like you because you’re a Bad Boy! And also because you’re hitting on my girlfriend!
Wolverine – I don’t like you because you’re a Boy Scout! And your girlfriend totally wants to date me!
Ad nauseum. Or, to put it more succinctly – Jean! Scott! Jean! Prof. Xavier! Logan! Uh!
There was a lot I didn’t like about the Ultimates universe, but at least the whole Scott/Jean/Wolverine love triangle was handled upfront (more or less) and honestly (more or less). Still, one bad relationship does not mean I should hate Wolverine. Although I should point out I find Wolverine’s overpowering sexiness to be somewhat unbelievable. The key thing to remember is that Wolverine in the comics is not actually Hugh Jackman. Wolverine is 5’2”, broad and hairy. Most women in comics are about 5’6” or 5’8” and most men are about 6′. Wolverine is short. Logically, if his arms and chest are as hairy as often drawn, his back and legs should be too. I also imagine he probably doesn’t smell so good either considering he’s quite animistic (and sweaty) and also smokes cigars, and cheap cigars at that. I suppose there are people who would find a short, very hairy, smelly man to be sexy, but somehow I doubt everyone would (as all the women in the comics seem to). So I think his irresistible sexiness is about as exaggerated as his personality. Also, although it’s not Wolverine’s fault, his popularity has spawned a lot of knock-offs, and I for one am tired of writers who think it’s a great new idea to introduce yet another character with a healing factor and claws.
I am also annoyed that Wolverine’s power levels have gone from “tough, but scrappy and able to survive more than an ordinary person” to “nigh unkillable.” Once upon a time when Wolverine got the snot beaten out of him, it took days to weeks for him to recover from those kind of injuries (whereas a normal person would be in traction for months). In his more recent incarnation, Spider-man chucked him out of a skyscraper and not only did he survive, but he was fully healed less than an hour later. He’s nearly had his head cut off and survived. Then again, power creep is a bigger issue than just Wolverine (see rant on Tyrant-in-Chief).
Basically, I love Wolverine because he’s Marvel’s paragon bad-ass Bad Boy. But I hate Wolverine because he’s Marvel’s paragon bad-ass Bad Boy, which means all writers want him in their comics even if he really doesn’t belong there. He’s overdone and it’s tiresome, like a certain puppy that just won’t shut up. I really don’t want to see Wolverine actually turn into Scrappy Doo, but I’d love him better if there was less of him.
A Writer's Hail Mary Pass 