Fifteen-minute Movie – Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

or, “Beauty and the Beast” and “Finn and Rose’s Extraneous Adventure” and “Rebel Without a Clue”

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A Movie Entry – Remakes Don’t Have to be Retreads

Or, “Dang it, Disney, do better!”
Or, “Not all remakes are remade the same.”

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Movie Entry – Random Thoughts on Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi

I have a lot of random thoughts. Like, a LOT, so this entry runs on a bit (and then a bit more… and if I’m honest a bit more than that), so settle in for a long read.

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A Movie Entry – 10 Things I learned from Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi

Yeah, yeah, I said I wasn’t that interested, but I am not entirely immune to the pull of the cultural zeitgeist that is the “Star Wars” franchise.

1) There is much to learn about the ways of the Force.
2) Emotionally and verbally abusing one’s super-powerful, mentally unstable apprentice is probably a bad idea in the long run.
3) The Mouse never misses an opportunity to sell merchandise.
4) Not every secret plan is worth keeping secret.
5) I really don’t care about the fate of the giant horse-goats.
6) The audience already knows Hux is a cartoon villain of the worst kind. We really don’t need him treated almost literally like a cartoon.
7) Poe Dameron is a terrible soldier.
8) Introducing a new character and having other characters say she’s awesome doesn’t actually make her awesome.
9) Kylo Ren doesn’t understand one of the fundamental rules of cool – if you have to work that hard to prove you’re cool, then you’re just not cool.
10) Leia is extremely forgiving of Luke’s complete abrogation of his responsibilities to his family and the galaxy.

A Movie Entry – Thoughts on ‘Batman Forever’

Everyone gives this movie such a bad review and cites it as the precipitous decline in the ’80s ‘Batman’ franchise that directly led to the franchise-killer Batman & Robin. I actually watched Batman Forever in a dollar theater, and pretty much hadn’t thought about it since. Well, until there was a sale on RiffTrax and I decided to check it out again. It’s actually not as bad as all that. I really don’t think it’s any worse than Batman Returns although the flaws are of a completely different nature.

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A Movie Entry – Intellectual Property Necromancer

or, “Disney’s current business model.”

Hey, did you know a new Men in Black movie was coming out this year? I didn’t either until I saw the review! Why make another start to a trilogy that ended long enough ago I don’t even remember when the third one came out? Because capitalizing on nostalgia is apparently just that lucrative.

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A Movie Entry – 10 Things I Learned From Black Panther

1) Yep, the universal constant is daddy issues.
2) Team MCU can create a well-rounded sympathetic villain not named Loki.
3) Not only is Wakanda awesome, everyone in Wakanda is totally kick-ass.
4) Princess Shuri is far and away the best Disney princess.
5) Apparently Agent Ross was the only non-Avenger paying attention to Black Panther during “Civil War.”
6) Keeping ancient traditions isn’t a bad thing, but maybe it’s not good to have a traditional physical fight actually determine rulership.
7) I like all the protagonists so much I actually can’t decide which one I like best, and that is quite the compliment.
8) Vibranium is practically magic.
9) Team MCU can still create a mostly self-contained solo movie, which I appreciate.
10) Team MCU can also create a mostly serious movie, which I also appreciate.

Other thoughts – this is one of the best movies, if not the best movie, in the MCU catalogue. It’s primarily a political and family drama with some kick-ass action sequences. There’s not a lot of levity and certainly no quips or zingers, but that would have not worked in this movie. I hope the MCU has some more of these in waiting.