This was, in every sense, Marvel’s response to Wonder Woman, and that is probably what kept it from being a really good movie. It was enjoyable, and the MCU is long overdue for a female lead, but the weight of those expectations and Wonder Woman led to a movie that was obviously trying too damn hard.
1) WB/DC is not the only studio that refuses to use the title character’s superhero name in the actual movie.
2) How Nick Fury lost his eye.
3) Why Nick Fury will never tell anyone how he lost his eye.
4) If one alien race is terrified of an apparently benign Earth creature, you can chalk it up to a hilarious inter-species mis-identification. But if two alien races are terrified of an apparently benign Earth creature, you should probably be terrified as well.
5) All it takes to jerry-rig 1990s Earth tech into an intergalactic communication device is an alien power source and parts from Radio Shack.
6) Even though the CGI necessary to de-age actors has ascended the uncanny valley, it’s still kind of disturbing.
7) When villains lay the, “Fight me one-on-one” trap, heroes can in fact resist the bait.
8) Villains, however, can’t resist giving the hero just one more chance to overcome the only obstacle preventing the hero’s total victory.
9) All it takes to become a superhero is survive what should, by the laws of physics, be an absolutely (and probably messy) fatal accident.
10) For a technologically advanced space-faring, star-spanning imperial alien race, the Kree make some pretty dumb strategic errors.
Spoiler alert – this entry is depressing. The subject matter is depressing, the conclusions are depressing, but I publish even my depressing opinions.
or, “Disney’s current business model.”
Hey, did you know a new Men in Black movie was coming out this year? I didn’t either until I saw the review! Why make another start to a trilogy that ended long enough ago I don’t even remember when the third one came out? Because capitalizing on nostalgia is apparently just that lucrative.
(also, spoiler alert)
“God willing we’ll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.”
Hollywood is going into franchise overload. I’m not surprised. “Avengers: Endgame” has apparently made all the money and as of this writing hasn’t technically been released to general audiences yet. But this trend is so aggressive that I am beginning to understand the frustration people who don’t like superhero movies experience when all the upcoming movies appear to be nothing but superhero movies. And yet while studios try to ride the lightning that is the success of the MCU, they are still completely missing the foundation of that success; to wit, make movies people want to see and then plan out some sequels.
1) Tony Stark is the most irresponsible person in the entire MCU and is self-aware enough to know if his comrades found out he recruited an underage teen and gave him a weaponized murder-suit, they would kick his smug armored ass so hard Howard Stark would feel it.
2) Peter Parker is terrible at hiding his secret identity.
3) Adrian Toomes is more threatening without the Vulture suit than with the Vulture suit.
4) The Vulture actually can use the Z-axis to his advantage in a fight.
5) Happy Hogan is terrible at security.
6) Tony Stark isn’t much better at security.
7) Spider-man needs a lot more practice at this.
8) For all the flak critics gave Sam Raimi for a “campy” Spider-man, a Spider-man movie works much better as mostly comedy/action and some drama than a humorless action drama.
9) Other British MCU actors should take accent lessons from Tom Holland.
10) With great power may come great responsibility, but it still doesn’t grant great social skills.