Fifteen-minute Movie – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

or, “Soooo, DC/WB doesn’t like money, I guess?”
or, “Soooo, DC/WB really hates Superman.”
or, “Soooo, DC/WB really hates Batman.”
or, “What A Long, Contrived Trip it’s Been.”

Continue reading Fifteen-minute Movie – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

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Storytelling Failures – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Gritty Sepia and Other Choices

I’ll be glad to be done whinging about this thing so I can start whinge about other things. So, the final part of my series explaining how this movie failed to tell a good story – structure.

Continue reading Storytelling Failures – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Gritty Sepia and Other Choices

Storytelling Failures – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, a Tale of Two Cities

Oh, no, I’m not done with this thing yet. After 2.5 freakin’ hours of this mess, there’s a lot to untangle. So my third criterion in analyzing a storytelling failure is the setting. I will admit in some movies the setting is largely irrelevant. Clueless was an adaptation of Emma set in 1990’s Los Angeles and that was just fine. However, the comic book mythos the filmmakers were trying (and failing) to capture, the setting is very important.

Continue reading Storytelling Failures – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, a Tale of Two Cities

Storytelling Failures – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Things That Happened

or, “A Series of Unfortunate Events.”

So the characters of this movie were generally written poorly. The second criterion by which I judge a failure of storytelling is the plot. Let’s get started.

Continue reading Storytelling Failures – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Things That Happened

Storytelling Failures – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, The People With Dialogue

Well, of course you knew this was coming. This movie was just a mess on so many levels. Therefore, I’m breaking up my analysis of the storytelling failures into separate entries. This one starts with the first criterion, which is character. But before I get into it, this movie did not make me sad or mad like Man of Steel, or furious like Justice League: War. This movie was dour and a long slog for little payoff, but it wasn’t as relentlessly bleak as Man of Steel or as mean-spirited as Justice League: War. I knew that the characters were going to be outside of my amalgam. That said, here’s the more in-depth analysis:

Continue reading Storytelling Failures – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, The People With Dialogue

A Comic Book/Movie Entry – 10 Things I Didn’t Learn From the JLA Prequel

Oh yes, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice has spawned a bonus entry. Despite 2.5 hours of run-time, there was an awful lot I did NOT learn from this movie.

1) Why are the Kryptonians such morons? Not only did the Kryptonians programmed their ships with forbidden knowledge of genetically engineering monsters, they included the technology to utilize that knowledge, and have absolutely no security protocols to prevent anyone from commandeering the ships, even prisoner ships!

2) What was Lex Luthor’s motivation? The Joker in The Dark Knight had a more clearly articulated motivation.

3) What the hell was Lex Luthor smoking/snorting/injecting? The Joker in The Dark Knight was less manic.

4) Who the hell in their right mind would give Lex anything he wants (technology, contracts, secrets, etc.)? Lex is obviously mentally unhinged. I don’t care if he’s a genius the Board of Directors should have shunted him away a long time ago.

5) Why include important side characters from the comics just to unceremoniously kill them off without even naming them?

6) Why can’t the film-makers give Lois Lane something meaningful to do?

7) What the hell was going on with Flash?

8) Did any of the film-makers actually read “The Dark Knight Returns?” I know some claim to have, but if so, how did they miss Batman not only not killing anyone but also directing his followers not to use guns?

9) How exactly was Superman supposed to come across as a bad guy?

10) How exactly was Batman supposed to come across as a good guy?

I have seen the “JLA” trailer, by the way, and I have some thoughts on that and a bunch of other trailers dropped at San Diego ComicCon as well.

Confidential to DJX – six months already? Awesome! Keep on keepin’ on!

A Comic Book/Movie Entry – 10 Things I Learned From the JLA Prequel

What? That’s totally what Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is, at least moreso than a Man of Steel sequel. So remember I learned ten things from Man of Steel, and several of those (like number 4) carry over into this movie and that’s pretty unfortunate. This whole movie is pretty unfortunate, actually.

1) WB/DC doesn’t seem to like Batman much anymore. The studio swapped him out for Crazy Steve.
2) This movie needed more Wonder Woman.
3) Martha Kent is just a plot device.
4) Kryptonians programmed all their ships with a complete history of their race, even their prisoner ships.
5) Batman doesn’t understand the importance of leading enemies away from bystanders.
6) Lex Luthor has daddy issues, apparently?
7) We’re supposed to be believe the downtown areas of Gotham City and Metropolis are apparently completely empty after 5:00 PM.
8) Batman is an objectively terrible detective and Clark Kent is an objectively terrible reporter.
9) Doomsday is a cave troll.
10) Franchises aren’t built in single movie, even one 2.5 hours long.

Well, on to Suicide Squad. Maybe that won’t be so bad. –checks reviews– Dang it.