A Movie Entry – Ten Things I Learned From the New “Star Wars”

No spoilers, not really anyway. Given how much money this flick has made, I feel like I’m probably one of the last ones to see it in the theaters.

1) Bigger is really not always better.
2) The bigger they are, the bigger they blow up.
3) Successfully wielding a lightsaber without causing oneself grievous bodily harm apparently takes no training.
4) Kylo Ren needs a better role model.
5) Grizzled old Han Solo is in fact more entertaining than young, ungrizzled Han Solo.
6) Han and Leia’s son is almost as big a disappointment as Indiana Jones and Marian Ravenwood’s son, and with as little explanation.
7) Somewhere there is a droid factory with the parameter “cutely endearing” as part of the manufacturing process.
8) Despite what astronomers and physicists claim, apparently space isn’t that big and it only takes half an hour to get anywhere important.
9) Luke has some ‘splaining to do.
10) If the Millennium Falcon was treated better, maybe it wouldn’t be such a piece of junk.

Also, yay diversity! Also, also, I see why many reviewers say this movie follows many of the same beats as “New Hope.” It kind of does, but it was thoroughly enjoyable. Also, also, also the Jedi seem to be really bad at their jobs. I kind of saw that in the prequels, but I hoped that was bad writing or perhaps explained by the Jedi being lulled into complacency. But as 9) says, the Jedi have seriously screwed up somewhere.


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S. J. Drew is an aspiring writer who finally entered the blogosphere to shamelessly promote that writing (as evidenced by the title of the blog). Whether or not this works remains to be seen, but S. J. hopes you are at least entertained. And if you're actually reading this, that's probably a good sign.

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