So I’ve been toying with the idea to write for Cracked.com. I figured it would be a good way to try to put myself out to a wide audience as a writer. I enjoy the site very much and find most of the articles to be as well researched as one can expect for a site that’s largely concerned with boobs and dick jokes. By the way, the novice title for a contributor to Cracked is, in fact, “Purveyor of Dick Jokes.” I was not surprised.
I am an interested observer in popular culture but not an active participant. I watched a lot more television when I was young (like Saturday morning and afternoon cartoons), but that was before I had a car and was old enough to drink. Freedoms changed my habits considerably, although you can tell by certain entries I still watch a lot of cartoons (I like cartoons!). There are some parts of pop culture I do follow and occasionally spent too much time thinking about (like comic books and comic book movies). It is no coincidence most of the “Fifteen-minute Movies” are in fact comic book adaptations. I consider myself a geek/nerd but I’m dreadfully ignorant of many aspects of even that narrow genre. I only follow a few comic book titles. I never watched all of ST:DS9, and I haven’t even finished David Tennant’s run as the Doctor. The most I’ve had to do with Doctor Who lately was a month or so ago when I pulled out my TARDIS USB hub, plugged it in, and it caught fire (I put it out fairly quickly but I’m sure I breathed some toxic fumes). I haven’t seen the rebooted “Star Trek” movie although I’ve been told it’s quite good. I have read all of the “Harry Potter” books and seen all of the movies. I obviously have the extended cuts of the LOTR movies as well (so… much… walking…). And TV shows? Wow I’m behind.
So, I determined that pop culture was not the avenue to pursue to write for Cracked. By the way, check out their “After Hours” video on Spider-man. This pretty much sums up how I feel about poor Universe 616 Peter Parker (also, I think Bendis is either a really good writer or really wants to punish his characters [poor Miles]). Luckily, I like science! I in fact work in a STEM field. Like most children, I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up. Then I realized that involved a lot of tedious, back-breaking labor for not a lot of pay or employment opportunities so I scratched that dream (I was a really odd child). But my love of dinosaurs and all things prehistoric (well, not all things; I really don’t care too much about prehistoric insects [except the giant dragonflies] or plant life) persisted. I also love all things astronomical and am fascinated by the seriously weird things in outer space (Saturn has a hexagonal storm; seriously, a storm with winds that make a freakin’ hexagon!).
Yeah, it turns out many of those topics already had articles or were/are in the process of being written. Here I thought I had this super-secret geek knowledge about thagomizers and diamond planets only to find out several people had the same knowledge and beaten me to the punch. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Geeks/nerds like science.
This leaves me pretty much back at Square 1. Stuff I know has already been done and I can’t write what I don’t know. So I’m considering a different avenue again, possibly concerning all those books I read that pretty much no one ever reads except for high school English class. Maybe I can write some article on how famous comic book stories are just re-tellings of old classics (I.e, “The Strange Case of Dr. Banner and Mr. Hulk” or “Pym” [instead of “Frankenstein”]). But I can only think of one or two items and then I run out.
I guess there’s nothing to do except keep thinking. C’mon, fevered writer’s brain and fickle Muse, think of something. I’m sure I’ll turn up something soon.