I am all for a “Deadpool” movie. However, I know what I want to see, and I know I’m unlikely to get it. Still, a blogger and comic book fan can dream.
With any comic book movie, there is always the question of which character to pick. I don’t mean in the sense of, “Do I make a movie with Batman/Wolverine or who cares all movies should be about Batman/Wolverine?” I mean, which Batman/Wolverine. I came across a poster someone had made featuring all nine classic Dungeons & Dragons alignments. The person found an example of Batman (with a quote) that fit all nine alignments. That’s the dilemma about picking out which character. Adam West’s “Batman” was faithful to the comics. So was Chris Nolan’s. A character changes by the whim of the writers and occasionally executive meddling from editors. This means there is a high likelihood some part of the fan base will be annoyed because their version of the character will be ignored, but that’s just how it goes.
So where does this leave us with Deadpool? Well, way back in the beginning, Deadpool was just a blatant rip-off of Wilson Slade, i.e. Deathstroke the Terminator (i.e., the creepy villain stalking the Teen Titans). He was just a mercenary and more of a plot point than a character. Currently (if Wikipedia is to be believed), Deadpool is now just Wade Wilson, completely cured of his cancer, immortality, powers, and ugliness. I am certain this will not last. Then there’s the Deadpool as introduced in the “Wolverine” movie. Ryan Reynolds (who has a classically Stan Lee alliterated name which is a good start) did a good job in his brief scenes where he spoke as Wade Wilson. The thing the movie tried to pass of as Deadpool in the end, however, was from left field. I do not want to see a movie with Baraka-pool. What I want, and I think most people would agree with me, is the most popular Deadpool – a completely amoral mercenary with a twisted sense of humor, cancer/outrageous healing factor (although I’m sure Deadpool would prefer to have a movie where he looks like Ryan Reynolds), an odd (to say the least) heterosexual life partner relationship with the time-traveling sometimes savior of mutantkind Cable, a complete disregard for the fourth wall, and hobbies that include playing a guitar named Lucille, tormenting Bob – Agent of HYDRA, and writing “Golden Girls” slash fiction. I am not making any of that up.
As I stated, I do not want a movie with Baraka-pool. More specifically, I do not want to see yet another generic ultra-violent (but bloodless) action-thriller with no plot except what is required to get to the next fight sequence. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if the movie uses Baraka-pool or not if it is just another generic action-thriller. Deadpool has character and I would be sad to see his character stripped down to nothing but a generic vehicle to make some fast cash *cough*AmazingSpider-man*cough*. Of course, Deadpool’s character does present an obstacle to making a proper Deadpool movie. It’s really hard to make a movie (or even a TV show) that features meta-humor such as breaking the fourth wall or genre savviness. It can be done (“Darkwing Duck“) and doesn’t even have to be animated (“Saved by the Bell“). But this is really hard to sustain for a feature-length movie. Galaxy Quest was all genre savvy, and oddly George of the Jungle had a lot of breaking the fourth wall. The best example of breaking the fourth wall is The Emperor’s New Groove. If you haven’t seen it, you should. Right now. Go on, I’ll wait. If you’re thinking, “But it’s a Disney movie,” I can assure you this is no more a typical Disney movie than, well, I am a typical Disney movie. It started life as a typical Disney movie, then languished in development hell for quite some time, and somehow ended up absolutely brilliant and more akin to a Looney Tunes cartoon than pretty much anything else Disney has ever produced (not counting the inevitable and not nearly as good sequel).
In short, the ideal Deadpool movie would be a combination of The Emperor’s New Groove and any one of the “Bourne” movies or “Mission Impossible” movies or really any action movie centered around a single person (but with a steady camera damn it!). I’ll give you a moment to process that: Disney + Action Movie (maybe that equals a Looney Tunes cartoon; okay, think live action Looney Tunes with guns and swords!). I want a Deadpool that will totally kick the ass of everyone near him, then pause the movie for a moment to deliver a witty remark to the audience, or even better, think he’s pausing the movie to deliver a witty remark to the audience and have the other characters treat him as though he’s crazy (this is how he’s viewed in the comics; I would argue that he’s not crazy per se, but actually has a heightened awareness of reality). I don’t even really care if the plot makes sense (it probably won’t, but that’s par for the course for Deadpool) as long as the character is intact. And hey, if Bryan Singer is seriously considering using time-travel to reboot the X-men into the new movie Marvel-verse, it would be a good place to introduce Cable.